Blog update

This is something I’ve wanted to do for months but now I’m finally in a place where I am okay. 

I made this blog so I could share my love of books and reading. Over the last two years that love started to fade. It was my depression.

I had already been diagnosed with depression and I knew with my pregnancy that the odds of getting post natal depression was even more.

What I couldn’t have planned was how wonderful, scary and terrible the last two years have been. 

I had a bit of a difficult pregnancy. Morning sickness was all day every day sickness for me. My baby didn’t move much and it was a stressful time with worry. 

The birth was a long one and in sparing you the details all I’ll say was when you are going in and out of consciousness and doctors/midwife’s tell you that they need to take you into emergency surgery otherwise both you and the baby won’t make it, it really hits differently.

My daughter is the best thing ever. She came into the word with all the attention and she still loves it now almost two years on.

Then I had post natal depression. A constant fear that someone was going to take my precious child away from me. I got so scared every time someone came near the door. 

It became an obsession and one I was convincing myself that I was fine. While all this was going on I had started my masters degree and going back to work full time.

Then the landlord upped the rent to the point we couldn’t afford it anymore and with very little savings we had to move. We moved to family and as time progressed we felt I needed more family support so we made the hard choice of having to pack up what we can and move. 

We’ve had to look for jobs, get a nursery lined up all while trying to keep sane with a changing world.

Normally during times of stress, books are my saviour but not this time. I read what I needed to for my degree and I tried reading my target amount each month. Didn’t work. By the time 2025 started I had over 20 books not finished, I had to find a job, do my degree and keep things going. 

Throughout all this I had gained a lot of weight and with the depression I just felt bad about myself and compared myself to other mothers who could cope and weren’t sitting up until the early hours of the morning staring at their newborn to make sure she was okay.

My husband and family have been my rocks and I know how fortunate I am to have them. Now I’m in a better place and started writing reviews and reading for fun again.

Stay tuned for the next chapter!